Before you have your baby, Read this!

Before you have your baby, read this! 

 

NB: Caveat - This post is PG16, Explicit

 

I had absolutely no idea of what I am about to share with you before I had a baby. And I am guessing there are people here who probably have no idea as well; and that is why I am sharing them. So here you go with things I wished I knew before I had a baby:

 
1.     Soreness in my Vagina.

 

I think that should have been obvious right? Well, a baby(big) was going to come out of my vagina (small) and so it will make sore. No, it was not that obvious to me. So, I walked into the labour delivery ward for checkup because my water broke, and I saw a young woman being wheeled out after having a baby and thought she came to have the baby in a wheelchair. Not knowing, I was going to be wheeled out the next day because I will be to sore to walk.

After I had my baby. I tried to get up to use the washroom and I almost fell. The nurse rushed to hold me and told me that I will need help to walk around because I was still sore. 

 

No one told me that! And so, when I was moved to post-partum, I was wheeled out just like the woman I met when I was coming in. She wasn’t physically disabled but she was sore to walk and had to be wheeled out. So, if you didn’t know, now you know!

 
2.     I will still look 7 months pregnant after the baby

 

I looked 7 months pregnant after I had my baby. 7 months pregnant. I had a big tummy but my baby was out. I didn’t know that. I had to found out after I had my baby. So, if you didn’t know, now you do. Your tummy doesn’t go back right after having a baby. It does go back eventually after breastfeeding, diet and exercising but not right after you have the baby.

 

3.     Postpartum depression

I had no idea about this concept and phenomenon till I had my first child. Back in Ghana where I grew up, new mothers were always so happy and excited when they had their babies. Thus, I was hoping to be that happy and excited but I wasn’t.

I will wake up and ask myself if I could take care of my baby

I will just cry

Whenever my baby woke up to feed, my heart will skip a beat and I will ask myself, “didn’t this child just sleep?’

I knew something was wrong and so I spoke with a social worker who asked me to have social support. 

After the incident, I started a mothers’ support group in my university housing to support new mothers who were from diverse ethnocultural and faith communities. This was to engage the mothers in order to avert postpartum depression.

 

 

4.     My nipples will crack 

Crack nipples? Hahaha! Please allow me to laugh. I am all in for breastfeeding and I have done exclusive for all my children but prior, I had no idea my nipples could crack and blood could ooze out. My nipples cracked a s a result of bad latching of my baby. My baby was not latching on my breast well so the vigorous sucking on my breasts caused it to crack. There was blood in my breast milk and in my baby’s diapers.

 

I had to go the clinic to see a lactation specialist who helped me to get the latching right. Make sure to learn how to latch your baby probably if you are going to breastfeed. 

 
5.     My life will change drastically

My life changed drastically.

Social: 

Most of outing had to wait till baby had had their immunization. After that, I was always so tired and wanted to sleep than go out for a party or for any event.

Financial: 

In Canada, you go on maternity for a year or 18 months with reduced pay and thus your finances are hit due to the salary reduction. Some people do get pay adjustments and top up but not all organizations get it.

Emotional/Psychological/Mental health: 

Your emotions are all over and you might even get baby blues or post-partum depression (I talk about it above).

Physical: 

Your body changes. Some women are able to get their bodies back but others are not able to do. I am still working on my body, hahaha.

6.     Sleepless night 

Say good bye to sleeping at night, unless you have a great support system. Regardless, after having a child you will learn that mothers are just a social experiment to demonstrate that human beings don’t need 8 hours of sleep to thrive.

I think the lack of sleep and my baby waking up every three hours unfailing contributed to my postpartum depression. If you know me well, you know that I LOVE my sleep so the lack of sleep hit me really good.

 

7.     My baby’s crying will scare me 

This point feeds into the last one, because I was not sleeping, I took any opportunity I got to sleep or relax. So, while in this mode – sleeping or relax and my baby cries, it jolts me and scares. I remember always going like, “3 hours so soon? I never knew 3 hours was this fast”.

 

8.     I can love someone so much

OMG, I love my children and with all that I have. I did not know I have all this love in me till I had my baby. I dote on them all the time. I give them all the hugs and kisses because I know when they grow up, I will need to ask for their consent before. I love my babies so much so don’t mess with them.

 
9.     You are very fertile right after pregnancy

Hahaha, please and please, if you are not ready to have another baby right after your baby then take precaution. It’s very important to talk to your doctor about contraceptives right after your baby. I know in some places, it’s part of the discussion with the doctor in your postpartum checkup. If the doctor doesn’t bring it up, bring it up and discuss it.

 

10.  Your menses will not come till later so you might think you are safe

You will bleed right after you have a baby which will stop after some days/week. After then you, you might not see your menses again till months later. I had my first menses after 8 months. Those were the good days, hahaha. And although you might not be menstruating, you can still get pregnant. Please speak with your doctor if you are scared about the late menstruation.

11. Gestational Diabetes 

I had no idea and I have never heard of gestational diabetes till I got pregnant. I had gestational diabetes and it was a horrible experience.

I had to prick myself with a needle four time in a day to check my sugar levels.

And take medication everything I ate.

I don't wish this for anyone.

The above is in no way to scare you, it is to enlighten you and prepare you. If you don’t want to have children, that is totally fine. 

What are some things you wish you knew or something new you learnt today. 

And until next time, know that 

You are enough, you are worthy!

Learn to Live life in the present 

And know that nothing last forever so everything will be fine!

Take care of YOU, YOU have all you got!