UNPOPULAR OPINIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE

Hello,

I hope you are well? Welcome to my world. Today let's talk about some unpopular opinions about marriage.

In my opinion, marriage is not a scam. Marriage is a scam only if it is used to oppress, dominate and devalue another human being.

Marriage is enjoyable and so if you are interested in getting married, please do not be discouraged by the negative news and stories. Take your time, study your partner and pray before you go into it.

But as you get ready to marry or even for the married ones, let me share with you some unpopular opinions about marriage.

Opposite Poles do not Attract

I am sorry to disappoint you, but I do not think in marriage opposite poles do not attract. Opposite poles may attract in physics but not in marriage.

I will explain, I have heard many people said if you are a quiet person then you should marry a loud person because the two goes well. Based on that, people have gotten married and are struggling. This thesis is superficial and not something that one needs to focus on to get married because it doesn't work.

I have heard people say, my husband is quiet person and I am the loud person and I just laugh. Because when I am alone with my husband, he is no where quiet. Sometimes, I want to record him and ask people, is this what you call quiet? 

Additionally, opposite pole do not attract in sexual relations. If you have a high sex libido, please find someone who has the same libido. Do not marry someone with a low sex libido if you have a high one, because both of you will just frustrate each other.

If you love rough sexual encounters, please do not marry someone who wants it gently, there will be sexual frustration in the home. In that sense, opposite poles do not attract.

If both partners are not on the same level with regards to ideas, dreams, career ambitions etc, both parties will frustrate each other.

You get the drift? So please make sure your dreams, ideas, ambitions and everything aligns with who you want to partner with because opposite poles do not attract.

Marriage has no formula

I have a blog post on it HERE. Please do read it. Simply, what will work for me will not work for you. There is no one standard way of marrying. You and your partner needs to find what works for you and run with it.

 

You don’t always love your partner / It is a choice you make 

Let me tell you, you are not always going to love your partner. Your partners are human and they may hurt you and you may wonder, why did I marry this one? 

But you do not dwell on that, you move on quickly so far as there is no toxicity and violence, and focus on the beautiful memories. Loving your partner is a choice you make. Love is a choice and not a feeling.

Here, I said it!

Not all marriages are built to last

Listen, not all marriage are meant to last, divorce is an option. Do not hold on or try to mend something that is not working.

Know this and know peace, it is okay to let it go. Everyone will be fine. Society will move, your family will rest and your friends will stop gossiping. And you, YOU will have your peace.

This is an unpopular opinion because no one marries to divorce but divorce is part of life and it is okay to let go when it is not working.

All marriages have challenges 

All marriages have some sort of challenge. It may not be on the same degree but there is definitely some arguments and challenges.

This is because even you, you do not like yourself all the time and so you may have issues with your partner at some point. 

When this happens, try as much as possible to ensure you talk through it and get to a concensus.

You don’t have sex all the time 

Hahaha, when are you going to have  sex everyday. When you find a way to do it, please come back here and show us anonymously. 

Women go on their period and need a break, unless both partners are kinky and have sex even when then woman is on her period then for the period week in a month, there is no sex.

When children come into the equation, it becomes hard to have sex everyday. Parents get tired and so the spontaneity and frequency of lovemaking reduces. Oh, how about when you are about to do the do and your children come running into the room or cry out in pain. Hahaha, you might never come back to that lovemaking till another day.

Work and just life in general may not make it possible every day.

You will do your best and enjoy but it may not be everyday.

And until next time, know that 

You are enough, you are worthy!

Learn to Live life in the present 

And know that nothing last forever so everything will be fine!

Take care of YOU, YOU are all you've got!